Me and Selah
The Pruning Principle
2 years ago
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Reflections on Parenting Selah
In five days my four-year-old daughter will be five. And I am in tears about it.
Five years ago my life travelled down a mind blowing, life altering shame spiral.
I was homeless, living in a battered woman's shelter, pregnant & talking to a priest about it all. I began my walk with the Lord when I was eleven-years-old. But somewhere between 23 and 25 I walked away for no good reason now that I look back over it. I had reached a point in my life when I thought I knew everything I needed to know about God.
Yeah. Young and stupid.
But for whatever reason God stood where I left him all that time, waiting for me to come back and take his hand.
When I had my daughter I drew a line in the sand. She would grow up the right way or I'd die trying. Little did I know that this line almost killed me.
For five years I have lived with two chronic illnesses both developed during and after my pregnancy. I am a lupus survivor and I live with a weakened heart that functions on goood days 40% of a normal heart. So I sit here and cry, because my doctor's told me that I wouldn't get to see Selah turn three. But I'm here and stronger than ever. I work out almost everyday not to lose weight(look at my picture. I'm plump) but because my heart requires it, in order to look normal to everyone else. This time is not just my daughter's birth day, but my rebirth day.
I had to resign from my high paying, total stressed out job to becoming a mommy and part-time writer. I am very thankful to have met all of you, who have dropped by my blog. I am very thankful to my fiancee, who wants to marry me despite of my poverty, health, and parental responsibilites. I am very thankful, for writing. Getting things out releaves the heart. I am very thankful to still be on this Earth, tucking my baby in, and feeling excited about what's in the future. I hope its a novel that I feel confident enough to submit to an editor. I hope its watching my daughter have her own children. Whatever it will be, I will be thankful. I will write about it and treasure it.
Writing to see what the end gon' be,
Dee
Five years ago my life travelled down a mind blowing, life altering shame spiral.
I was homeless, living in a battered woman's shelter, pregnant & talking to a priest about it all. I began my walk with the Lord when I was eleven-years-old. But somewhere between 23 and 25 I walked away for no good reason now that I look back over it. I had reached a point in my life when I thought I knew everything I needed to know about God.
Yeah. Young and stupid.
But for whatever reason God stood where I left him all that time, waiting for me to come back and take his hand.
When I had my daughter I drew a line in the sand. She would grow up the right way or I'd die trying. Little did I know that this line almost killed me.
For five years I have lived with two chronic illnesses both developed during and after my pregnancy. I am a lupus survivor and I live with a weakened heart that functions on goood days 40% of a normal heart. So I sit here and cry, because my doctor's told me that I wouldn't get to see Selah turn three. But I'm here and stronger than ever. I work out almost everyday not to lose weight(look at my picture. I'm plump) but because my heart requires it, in order to look normal to everyone else. This time is not just my daughter's birth day, but my rebirth day.
I had to resign from my high paying, total stressed out job to becoming a mommy and part-time writer. I am very thankful to have met all of you, who have dropped by my blog. I am very thankful to my fiancee, who wants to marry me despite of my poverty, health, and parental responsibilites. I am very thankful, for writing. Getting things out releaves the heart. I am very thankful to still be on this Earth, tucking my baby in, and feeling excited about what's in the future. I hope its a novel that I feel confident enough to submit to an editor. I hope its watching my daughter have her own children. Whatever it will be, I will be thankful. I will write about it and treasure it.
Writing to see what the end gon' be,
Dee
Radio Station seeks Christian Fiction Authors
Popular Northeast radio station looking for Christian Fiction and Inspirational authors to feature their books on gospel radio show. Radio station will feature book, interview the author and have guests call in. At the end of the month the radio station will hold a bookclub meeting for the author and the winners. Book signings will be scheduled with large Christian bookstore. If you are interested please contact Angie at adeeva@adeevapub.com. This is only for CF and inspirational authors.
Click on the title above to direct you to the Adeeva site.
Click on the title above to direct you to the Adeeva site.
Faith Based Fiction Lover's Weekend Postponed
Faith Based Fiction Lover's Weekend scheduled for June 24-26 2005 this year at HILTON LOS ANGELES AIRPORT, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA has been postponed.
Conference coordinator, and bestelling christian fiction author, Jacquelin Thomas states,
"Hello Everyone:
I am writing to inform you that I've decided to postpone the conference until June 2006 and I would love to have each of you join me at that time. My life has gone through several heavy storms and now I am raising my 3 grandchildren--2 of which are not school age. I can't focus on the conference right now and so I feel putting it off for a year will help me until I find some order in my life once again. The 2006 conference and all others will continue to be held here in the Raleigh-Durham area.
For the authors: those of you, who have sent in your donations for the Impact Movement and/or ordered guest packages--I will be refunding all monies. All registrations will be refunded as well. I am asking for your prayers as well as your understanding.
The hotel has been notified of the cancellation, so please cancel your hotel reservations as well. Again,I truly am sorry to do this, but I have too much on my
plate at the moment. However, I am very committed tothis conference and will be meeting with hotel reps in May to plan for 2006.
Jacquelin
Jacquelin, we have you in our prayers.
Conference coordinator, and bestelling christian fiction author, Jacquelin Thomas states,
"Hello Everyone:
I am writing to inform you that I've decided to postpone the conference until June 2006 and I would love to have each of you join me at that time. My life has gone through several heavy storms and now I am raising my 3 grandchildren--2 of which are not school age. I can't focus on the conference right now and so I feel putting it off for a year will help me until I find some order in my life once again. The 2006 conference and all others will continue to be held here in the Raleigh-Durham area.
For the authors: those of you, who have sent in your donations for the Impact Movement and/or ordered guest packages--I will be refunding all monies. All registrations will be refunded as well. I am asking for your prayers as well as your understanding.
The hotel has been notified of the cancellation, so please cancel your hotel reservations as well. Again,I truly am sorry to do this, but I have too much on my
plate at the moment. However, I am very committed tothis conference and will be meeting with hotel reps in May to plan for 2006.
Jacquelin
Jacquelin, we have you in our prayers.
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