A Selah Morning

Selah 6mths/5years 

Happy Birthday to my sweetheart, my daughter, Selah.

Selah's name means pause for praise and meditation. It is an instruction scattered throughout the Book of Psalms, to stop and observe God's message,and to continue our praise more uplifted than before. A perfect name for my child, who was the catalyst for me to take pause in my fast paced life and to hear God's message for me.

"I love you." Is a sentence my soul heard from a clear whisper in my ear the moment she looked at me right after she was born. And I knew then that God was with me.

"I love you." Kept me, held me when I wanted to die from the pain that congestive heart failure, lung failure and kidney failure torments the body. But I heard "I love you" and I planted my feet and waited on my HELP.

"I love you." My daughter kissed my cheek the Christmas before we moved back to Atlanta, my first Christmas in recovery/therapy/poverty/aloneness.

"I love you." My boyfriend shed tears for me the day he moved away to complete Grad School, a day I understood that waiting with God for the right man takes your relationship to a seperate peace.

"I love you." The day I turned 32, last month. I have lived longer than Christ and haven't suffered as much, and haven't accomplished as much, and haven't brough as many souls to the Kingdom as I could have, but He loves me inspite of it all.

"I love you." Today. My daughter has her fifth birthday. I pause this morning. OOOH, Glory. Hallelujah. Thank you Jesus. Hallelujah. You are a Healer. You are my Glory. Hallejuah. I love you, Lord. I praise you this morning. I cry out in praise.
I pause...
Pause with me.
Where is your faith?
Pause some more.
Who do you belong to?
Pause some more.
Who do you fight for?
Pause...
Who do you write for?
Hallelujah.
Somebody praise the Lord with me.
Angels on High!
Help me, Holy Ghost.
Selah.

Writing to see what the end must be,
dee